Olivia Fowler

One the Way

By Olivia Fowler

Now let me see if I have this straight. All of our phone calls, emails, Facebook pages and any other forms of communication are being stored digitally by our government to keep us safe from terrorism.

We are told not to be concerned about any violation of our privacy, because nobody is actually listening to us. We are told everything is being loaded into a sophisticated database.

Should we be worried? Admittedly the technology involved in all of this is beyond my level of understanding. But this, if in fact true, and who knows really, raises questions.

If it’s true that this will keep us safe from terrorism, why didn’t we know about the Boston Marathon bombers? And if nobody is actually listening to the conversations, then how will they know if something “dangerous” is in the works? Why do it at all if the conversations are not being monitored?

Should I stop calling the rat terriers rat terrorists? I have referred to them by that name on the phone and even in a column. It seems to me that this term could be a real red flag to whoever is not listening.

Really and truly, no harm is meant by the term. Our dogs are not part of a secret terror cell. They hold no threatening political views and are not violent unless confronted with a groundhog.

All are loyal Americans. Only two have ever even nipped anybody. Sebastian, one of the rat terriers, ripped the trousers of our plumber who was crawling under the house to check the hot water heater. The skin wasn’t broken, but a good pair of pants was ruined.

In Sebastian’s defense, he didn’t understand what the plumber was doing. Clearly, he thought he was interrupting a burglary and was just trying to keep our hot water heater from being stolen.Otherwise he would never have behaved in such a manner.

Cheetah the Chihuahua, aka “The Maniac,” did try to nip a child who wanted to pick her up. This occurred, and there were witnesses, after the child had been explicitly warned that the Maniac didn’t like children and that she would snap any child who tried to pick her up.

In her defense, she can do little harm even if she bites due to the absence of a goodly number of teeth in the lower jaw. Admittedly, it’s hard to have bottom teeth when you have no chin to speak of, and she certainly doesn’t have one.

How are we supposed to react to all this information? I don’t know. It definitely strains credibility. It takes time to sort through and evaluate everything we’re hearing. Eventually, if we live long enough, we may know what actually has happened.