All About Ben

By Ben Robertson

Ben Robinson

This past weekend was a bit iffy, but I am pretty sure that this year’s “winter weather” is past us now. I am more than happy if it is.

I know it won’t be but a few weeks before I am complaining about it being too hot. That’s what happens with us fat guys. Weather comes that seems suited toward us — plenty of need for extra clothing to keep us warm, and at the same time keep us from looking so miserable because we’re sweating. But for some reason we wish for warm weather — even “bikini” weather, though we realize we will be sweating and clinging to an air conditioner throughout the summer.

One good cold blast of wind makes me welcome summer that much more. And the theory that if you are cold you can just add clothing until you are warm does not find much support. I guess I’m a little spoiled by the common air conditioning unit. We don’t really sweat anymore, except for the many who actually pay for membership in a gym to do so. I used to, but I found that the most common reason for sweat was each month when the membership money was due.

I used to enjoy the summertime because of the likely vision of females wearing bikinis. But as I’ve grown older, the females have too. It’s kind of a “turn-off” when a girl is described as so-and-so’s mother.  Its even worse when she’s actually so-and-so’s grandmother.

“Your grandmother looks hot,” is not a good way to talk to women. Unfortunately, more and more, that’s accurate, even if it does not roll off the tongue.

But frankly I can take hours of it being “a little too hot” better than I can handle 10 minutes of it being too cold.

I am probably a little larger than normal. The scale prints out a card saying “One at a time” when I step on it. Common sense tells me that if I were to exercise in warm weather, I may lose some of this fat. But still, I am happier when I can shiver and enjoy cooler weather.