Get ready to surrender your forks

Dear Editor,

What I’m about to say won’t help me win any popularity contest. In America today, we have a weapon so deadly that it was responsible for an estimated 300,000 deaths last year. This weapon looks so innocent and non-threatening. It’s deadly! They’re so easy to obtain, anyone can purchase one with no background checks whatsoever!

Even if you have a record as a felon, no problem. We’ve got to get laws passed right now, and not a moment sooner!! Got to get them taken up before more innocent people die because of them! Why, do you know even a child can purchase one with their allowance? We need to take them up and

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