Nicole Daughhetee

Life As I Know It

By Nicole Daughhetee

Self-righteous I am not. Humble, modest, loving, and extremely sensitive I am. I am also the first person to tell anyone that I have made more mistakes than I can count and as I learn and grow I foresee many more blunders on the horizon.

I have developed a code of sorts that I live by, and it is simple: I do my darndest to treat other people the way I would want to be treated; I do the right thing even when no one else is watching to hold me accountable; knowing that I am flawed, I strive to be non-judgmental of others.

I am honest to a fault at times (but not in the way that I blurt things out without being considerate of the feelings of others). I am genuine. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m not afraid to tell someone I love him or her or that I am appreciative. I don’t have a problem admitting I’m wrong or saying I’m sorry when I have messed up and hurt someone. Stubborn as an ox, I stick to my principles and stand up for the things I believe. I am passionate. I am idealistic. I believe in everlasting love and happily ever afters.

Even after my years of training and experience in the counseling field, I find that I struggle with those who have a tendency toward manipulative mind-play. I don’t understand why it is necessary to engage in games when it comes to matters of the heart.

When two people love one another — whether it be a platonic friendship kind of love, a parent-child love, a sibling relationship, or a tender, romantic love — that love is a sacred, valuable bond worthy of nurturing and care. When it is genuine and true, it is unconditional and limitless.

Shakespeare said the course of true love never did run smooth, but when it is real it is strong. It is yielding and pliable. It can bend without breaking. Real love is honest and has integrity. It shows up day after day, puts forth hard work and effort. It doesn’t call the game on account of rain or a muddy playing field. It has a stick-to-it-ness, a passion, a zeal that sets it apart. It doesn’t cower in fear or get its feathers ruffled.

Genuine love is not apathetic or ambivalent. It keeps promises. It says what it means and does what it says.

Love is simple. Unfortunately people distort it and muddy the waters because of fear, insecurities, and an inability to be genuine, open and honest. I often think that if adults could view the world from a child’s perspective — one that allows for unfettered freedom of thought and feeling, faith in those things that can’t be seen, and a sincerity that cannot be counterfeited — relationships would not be such a struggle for so many.