Ben Robinson

All About Ben

By Ben Robinson

Last week, I had to admit that I was beginning to take on a cold. It wasn?t easy, because its hard for anyone to understand anything  I say when I have a cold.

My nephew Kevin was one of the first victims. I give Kevin a ride to work each day. He came up to me yesterday when it was time for us to leave.

“Ben, are you ready to go?” he asked.

“What thime do you need to be there?” I asked.

“Thime? Ain’t that some kind of seasoning?” Kevin asked.

“No,” I answered. “Thime. Thime. Like thime of the day.”

“Uh, I think it’s oregano,” Kevin said.

“No, no,” I said. “I’ve thot a thold, My those is thunning.”

Kevin still looked puzzled. “We can add salt if you want,” he said.

“No, no, I’ve thot a thold so I can’t thalk good,” I said. “But I’ll still thake you to work. It’s safer than letting you thrive my thar.”

“Your thar?” Kevin asked.

“Yes, because you might wreck thit,” I said.

“Is this one of those things where you talk in some kind of code, like with pig latin, or calculus, or something like that?” Kevin said.

“No, I have a thold, so everything I say sounds thunny,” I said.

“Thunny?” Kevin asked.

“Just thet in the thar,” I said. Kevin looked puzzled.

I pointed to my car. “Thet in!” I shouted.

So Kevin got in the thar — uh, car — and we started our way towards Easley.  On the way there, I stopped at a store and asked Kevin if he wanted a “dwink.” He got confused and filled my car up with gas. This cold is starting to come in handy.

I suppose in a week or so I’ll start to get better. But for now, I’m going to enjoy this cold while I’ve got it.