Nicole Daughhetee

Life As I Know It

By Nicole Daughhetee

Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker is primarily watched by women — if I had to guess — but should be watched by men. Patti Stanger can be crude at times, but she always tells it like it is. While she earns her bread and butter as a love guru for the wealthy elite, her advice is certainly translatable to the average Joe.

Ladies, if you agree with me upon completion of your reading, hand this over to your guy and ask him to read it. No need to thank me. I’m writing this for sisterhood. For you men who already know “what’s up” — thank you, and I applaud you.

We all know that I epitomize the sappy, sentimental romantic. I think some men — not all men — have a difficult time in the romance department because they are brought up to be tough guys who are weak for showing emotion, sensitivity or sentimentality.

Along with this, women have had to take on many of the roles and responsibilities that were once considered “masculine,” like being the financial breadwinner or being completely independent and self-sufficient. Like Rosie the Riveter, many women embrace the feeling that they can do anything a man can do and that they can do it well.

Despite the varying social and cultural roles to which the sexes ascribe, most women want to be courted and romanced in a relationship and throughout marriage. And we want the male counterparts in our relationships to be thoughtful and romantic without us having to tell, hint or suggest at ways they could make the smallest of gestures that make our hearts race.

Without further ado, here are some suggestions for how to woo the lady in your life — whether your relationship is in its beginning stages or you’ve been married for quite some time. It is never too late to throw a little romance into your relationship.

Start simple: open her car door and close it when she is settled inside; open doors for her if you are out running errands; or carry in the groceries when she comes home from her weekly trip to the store.

Women enjoy being gifted with tokens of love and appreciation — for no reason whatsoever. Don’t wait for a holiday, birthday or anniversary to lavish your woman with a symbol of your affection: send her flowers at work just to say “I love you;” tuck a sappy card or hand-written love letter into her purse when she isn’t looking; buy her a bottle of her favorite perfume, a pair of earrings, or something that is her style if these items are not.

Arrange for her to have a spa day or afternoon complete with a massage and (or) a mani-pedi so all she has to do is show up and enjoy a few hours of pampering.

Once the children are tucked in for the evening, turn off the television, mute your phone and stick it in a drawer. Light some candles. Make time to spend together — one on one — without distractions so you can talk and reconnect. If you are in a relationship with children, make time for just the two of you: surprise her with a one night get-away at a hotel or bed and breakfast. It doesn’t have to be super fancy or expensive to be meaningful and appreciated.

I don’t profess to be a relationship expert, but I do know the types of gestures I appreciate, and I don’t think I speak for myself when I say that a woman loves being courted and treated like she is the most amazing and wonderful person on the planet.

Guys, give some of these suggestions a try and see what happens. You will reap the rewards of the thoughtful and romantic gestures you sew.